Paranoia

2011-12-26T10:01:00.001+08:00

2011-12-26T10:00:00.001+08:00

Hello God’s precious child! :D

Has it really been so long since i even posted anything?? :o seems like it.

Anywho, Christmas is more or less over to most, but I’d like to believe the 12 days that follow. Heh. Or at least until the year officially comes to an end. Till then, giving shall proceed :) (SO SHALL RECEIVING, HINT HINT.)
Its been a while, a lot has been happening too.
But altogether, training has still been sucking up majority of my time, so much so that i barely have time to myself! :(
AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE BEKAH-TIME. D:
AND, what it seems is that i have seemingly gotten fatter over the days! ( With training and all, i would have expected myself to cut a couple of kilos by now, but NOOOOO, that’s not how it works now is it?! D: )
What elseeeeeee……………

OH and I am glad to announce that I have certainly fallen deeper in love with God again, AMEN TO THAT.
The credit i must give to a very special book I’m reading, its called “The Purpose Driven Life”
Yes, my life will never be the same. And see its this 40 day journey thingy and wonderful part of it is that i never would have thought the 40th day would be a day before the 31st. Great timing or what.
I really feel like a different person, i guess its working? Heh. Bottom line, God has made me the happiest girl, ever.

On top of all the other drama, school starts in about a week’s time from now.
Looking forward to the new year really. More drama, more stories to tell, more lessons to learn, more chances to fall EVEN DEEPER in love with God! :DD
But of course its holiday homework and all that nonsense first. Council has already choked me with the plans to come next year since we’re already steeping down around march or april? And when school starts, Bgirls matches commence right around the chinese new year period too. My goshh. I’m already scaring myself. Oh and can’t forget ‘O’s can I :/

Looking forward, since that’s all i can actually do.

2011-11-27T21:46:00.001+08:00

2011-11-27T21:29:00.001+08:00

2011-11-27T21:24:00.001+08:00

GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME :)

Hello lovely-ssss :D
Was feeling kinda down last night, so refrained from saying much, don’t wna pollute this page with negativity do i? Heh.
Anywho, attended our post confirmation gathering today!
Awesome seeing everyone again.
And i miss all of them even more now D: But well, took back all our momentos and stuff like that, and thank God for our spectacular catechists really.
AND Barbara has the cutest mummy! HAH.
K there’s nothing else for Bekah to say :/
OHOH, we formed the new community earlier on during the gathering, not sure what exactly’s going on really. But i don’t think now’s my time. I wna really feel the prompting anyways, and the last thing i’d want is for myself just to give in because of in that sense, peer pressure. So with that, Bekah still has her Lectors, so that’s that. Yep :)
And YES, a silent prayer I send up now for my dearest brother, Joshua who is struggling in some way or another, and for whoever is reading this to pray for him as well. Yep, let him know that God’s love is sufficient for him now, mmhm.

Other than all of that, here’s to a good week ahead, :)

2011-11-26T22:14:00.001+08:00

2011-11-26T22:13:00.001+08:00

Bekah Bekah…

What are you doing man…
Time to take it back hmm. About time you wake up and ‘pull up your socks’ in all aspects of life again.
Time to find myself again ><

2011-11-22T14:26:00.001+08:00

HELLO GOD :D

2011-11-22T14:15:00.001+08:00

2011-11-22T00:51:00.001+08:00

So I’ve learnt today.
Its good to finally realise and to see so many people in such a different light.
The light of our Almighty.

Praise God ;)

2011-11-22T00:38:00.001+08:00

Its hard to make it look so easy,
but the truth is,
I miss every part of you and being with you here and now.

And my body is aching and it feels so dead, and I’m dead beat, but my mind is running a marathon all to get to wherever you are.
Hope you’re doing fine, hope you’re safe, hope Friday comes like a bullet train.
Hoping.

2011-11-20T22:36:00.001+08:00

Interesting thought. But not really i’d say. But still, interesting thought at interesting time. Heh.

2011-11-20T21:37:00.001+08:00

………… UNDERSTAND NOW? Hahaha.

2011-11-16T11:30:00.001+08:00

BEKAH’S BACK :D

Hello lovely-s,
Confirmation’s over, and basically I feel like a new person on the whole.
Honestly for whoever actually reads this page… (Hmm… that’s an interesting thought, what if no one does ._.)
Yeah, for whoever actually read this, YOU HAVE GOT TO SERIOUSLY MEET MY GOD.
He is above awesome and he will make life look like NOTHING.
He will bring you rest.
He will make you a child, an heir to his kingdom not on this corrupted Earth, but in a much more lovely place.
COME AND SEE, AND NEVER LOOK BACK MAN.

Anyways, other than Bekah feeling like I can fly, there’s this certain emptiness, this void in me.
Why? I can’t quite put it to place :/
Maybe cuz the journey itself became so much part of my life that now its over, it feels kinda weird.
SO WHAT DO I DO?
Go be part of someone else’s journey!
Which is why, Bekah’s embarking on a p6 church camp, may the force be with me but open mind open heart and i’m going there to receive God too anyways! :)

AMEN :D

2011-11-07T18:36:00.001+08:00

THEN MANNNN, GOD MUST BE REALLY REALLY FUNNY :DDDDDD

2011-11-07T18:35:00.001+08:00

OUR GOD, IS AN AWESOME GOD HE REIGNS, ON HEAVEN AND EARTH HE REIGNS!

Mygoodnessssss, camp was the bomb.
Best Church camp yet.
So tell me God, what did i do to deserve such love from you??

If i MUST sum up all the amazing things we did and stuff we took back and were taught in that sense, i guess i’d say…………
1. God loves me and I’m beyond crazy in love with him too.
2. He came to call sinners and here I am, broken and down and he’s coming right at me with arms open. So I surrender.
3. To experience the holy spirit is hands down the most beautiful thing that could ever happen to a person.
4. Seeing how God has changed us just shows us how genuine his love is.
5. I wished i could live in church and continue that retreat for like…ever.
6. Looking forward to see the Fruits of the Spirit unfold :D

Yep that’s pretty much it.
Confirmation here I come!
And God, here’s telling you that I’m forever yours. And i love you to bits, to the deepest cordons of my heart, to the max!

Hahaha.

PRAISE GOD :)

2011-10-29T23:01:00.001+08:00

2011-10-29T22:59:00.001+08:00

2011-10-29T22:58:00.001+08:00

So part of the clearing up of all the clutter in the room got me to chance upon the booklet they gave out during what, if i’m not wrong, was our very first “Theology of the Body” talks in church.
And so like why not i started reading it.
Basically its all about how all our bodies are a centre of God and stuff like that and how things like sex and everything is at the end of the day done yes out of love but for the greater and bigger picture of pro-creation and in turn how God should always be the centre of every single relationship we have with any individual.
Yep.
But long story short, i read something that kinda made me think……
, “This is ‘the capacity of expressing love, love in which the person becomes a gift’.”
AND I AM CLUELESS, when it comes to what this really means, but youknow, there’s nothing more to it i guess :)

Just food for thought huh?

2011-10-29T22:06:00.001+08:00

2011-10-29T22:05:00.003+08:00

AMEN.

2011-10-29T22:05:00.001+08:00

2011-10-29T22:03:00.001+08:00

With regards to that, i’m pretty much all over the place at this point in time.
Results and everything, i think it only really hit me today after a catch-up with a friend got me to realise how much things have changed and how slow a pace i’m going at. And idk, its all too much to just find out now. Sec 3’s pretty much over with all the booster sessions starting next week, competitions, camps, courses, confirmation, tuition, tuition and more tuition, SPA examinations and what not, and everything just slowly consuming me.
Bekah you’ve seriously got to get your act together. I mean you always seemed to have that control man, but like… what happened.
IDK.
And not to mention how much daddy and mummy are ready to invest in you, you have to pull it together woman!

And when 2012 comes, i had better know how to handle it.
Here we go~

2011-10-22T13:26:00.001+08:00

2011-10-22T13:22:00.001+08:00

2011-10-22T12:22:00.001+08:00

2011-10-22T12:14:00.001+08:00

WHY’S BIEBER SO FRIGGIN’ HOT D:

2011-10-22T12:02:00.001+08:00

2011-10-22T12:00:00.001+08:00

This was soooo not in the dictionary. pft.

2011-10-22T11:58:00.001+08:00

Hi Charlotte, :)

Nice to have talked to you last night dear, and this post reminded me a lot of you, and what i mentioned last night.
Yep, you deserve every happiness hmm,

and i love you like a lot :)

2011-10-17T17:30:00.003+08:00

2011-10-17T17:30:00.001+08:00

2011-10-17T17:29:00.001+08:00

2011-10-15T21:58:00.001+08:00

2011-10-15T21:04:00.001+08:00

2011-10-15T21:02:00.001+08:00

2011-10-15T21:01:00.001+08:00

2011-10-15T21:00:00.001+08:00

2011-10-15T20:58:00.001+08:00

2011-10-15T19:57:00.001+08:00

Hello! :D

Exams are over, Thank God really, but SOOOOO AFRAID for the results, hmmm :/
Not to mention the sad cold hard truth of training resuming next week Wednesday >.< BOO.
ANYWAYS, it is about time the stress fats that accumulated through the exam period are permanently destroyed of :D
Heh. Anywho, I just looked up the plans for the following few weeks and they have certainly panned out to be a really exciting few days! :)

For one, Confirmation’s like in less than a months time!! :D
Can’t wait! Not to mention camp before that and like dress shopping and YEAHHHHH, its gna be good :D
BUT you see, one of the few decisions we have to make in the entire confirmation process would be the choice of a “Confirmation name”. Yep, so to symbolize our entire next chapter of our faith journey with God and Christ. Yep. So its not just about how nice the name sounds or whether or not it fits into your name or if your initials seem ‘nicer’ with it or simply the background of the saint kinda thing and all that. But its much more, to me at least.
And if some may know, i have been preeeeeetty keen on Michaela. From the Archangel Michael, being the protector and the commander of God’s army against the war between good and evil and like that’s basically what I see my future in faith. But youknow, I’m beginning to realise how much i have reasoned with myself into deciding with this name. And honestly there have been a million and one other names for me to probably choose. Like maybe RUTH, who was a really powerful prophetess and stuff like that. Yep.
And you know how important all this church stuff is to me so idk. In other words, i’m looking back at my decision and it doesn’t look good.
I do have until tomorrow morning so i shall let y’all know, but till then, may God appear to me in a dream. *fingers crossed!

ALSO, people who are people of this world and universe should really go watch REAL STEEL. Idk about y’all but it made me cry 3 times ;D WAHAHAHA~

AND, i’m kinda sorta addicted to studying, I’ve had impulses to take up my math and continue doing it. Weird right i know ><

AND AND AND, I LOVE MUSIC. After today, I never regretted taking up piano, and i never will. Although i’m taking snail steps to get all the grades done now, idk, i don’t seem to want to anymore, i don’t want it to be over. Yep.

KKKKKKK THAT’S ENOUGH FROM ME,
FOR NOWZ :D

2011-10-15T18:35:00.001+08:00

I think this snippet’s really beautiful, consider sparing a fewwwww minutes hmm?

2011-10-15T18:32:00.001+08:00

2011-10-14T08:03:00.001+08:00

2011-10-14T07:58:00.001+08:00

2011-10-14T07:56:00.001+08:00

2011-10-14T07:51:00.001+08:00

2011-10-14T07:48:00.001+08:00

2011-10-14T07:43:00.001+08:00

“I think what I have learned most is that, I’ll never be perfect. I’m not talking about just looks or things like that, but in every part of life, I’ll always be flawed. I’m sure a lot of girls feel that way too and I know that dudes do cause I live with a bunch of them. The greatest feeling is knowing that I don’t have to be right.”
—Hayley Williams

2011-10-14T07:40:00.001+08:00

2011-10-01T17:13:00.001+08:00

2011-10-01T17:12:00.003+08:00

2011-10-01T17:12:00.001+08:00

2011-10-01T17:09:00.003+08:00

2011-10-01T17:09:00.001+08:00

It’s peering through the window looking at the snowflakes fall, it’s waking up on Christmas morning feeling like a kid again, it’s smiling through the tears, it’s seeing the trees bloom in spring, it’s laying in the grass staring up at the clouds in summer, it’s jumping into a pile of leaves in autumn, it’s the adrenaline rush you get when you’re on a roller coaster, only inches from the top, it’s running against the wind, it’s laughing with your best friends till you get tears in your eyes. It’s reuniting with an old friend, it’s the first, second, and third kiss with someone you love, it’s kissing them years later knowing you made the right choice. It’s all the mystery and wonder of the world at your fingertips. It’s the good life. And it’s yours.

-runawaytrain.tumblr.com

2011-10-01T17:07:00.003+08:00

2011-10-01T17:07:00.001+08:00

I WNA BE AS SEXY AS EMMA WATSON D:

2011-10-01T17:03:00.001+08:00

2011-10-01T16:51:00.001+08:00

2011-10-01T16:49:00.001+08:00

HELLO KIDS :D

Missed me right??! I know, my humblest apologies for not posting as often.
Have just been awfully occupied with lotsa lotsa weird insignificant stuff, like school.
Heh.
Anyways, life’s been good, advanced papers so have have been preeeeeetty safe. But its the bridge of main exams that I fear to cross more than anything now. :/
Anyways, point being this inability to post as often is going to continue, at least until the end of the 2 weeks to come.
So…
Best of luck to all exam-ing now, may the force be with whoever who reads this.
And yep! I’m gone :D

Cheers, :)

2011-09-24T09:01:00.003+08:00

2011-09-24T09:01:00.001+08:00

2011-09-24T08:50:00.001+08:00

2011-09-24T08:31:00.001+08:00

Did you ever do this, you think back on all the times you’ve had with someone and you just replay it in your head over and over again and you look for those first signs of trouble?

—500 Days of Summer

2011-09-24T08:16:00.001+08:00

It took me a lifetime to realize that things don’t get lost if they don’t have value - you don’t miss what you don’t care about.

—Jodi Picoult

2011-09-24T08:13:00.001+08:00

TOTALLY. Told you nerds are hot :DD

2011-09-17T14:06:00.001+08:00

Miss Universe 2011;

Question: “Hello Miss Philippines! Would you change your religious beliefs to marry the person you love? Why or why not?”

Miss Philippines: “If I had to change my religious belief, I will not marry the person that I love. Because the first person that I love is God who created me. And I have my faith, my principles. And this is what makes me who I am. And so if that person loves me, he should love my God too. Thank you.”

AWESOMEZZZZZ.

2011-09-17T13:55:00.001+08:00

HEH :D

2011-09-17T13:54:00.001+08:00

*INSERT SCREAMS* I love Glee Project like SO SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH.
CAMERON~!!! (L)

2011-09-17T13:52:00.001+08:00

I’m a pissy ass.
I have an ultra bad temper.
I’m a really big dreamer, with that pea-sized motivation.
I’m only as funny as I feel
And I don’t think I’m pretty.
I’m a liar.
I take advantage of people.
I laugh at my flaws so i don’t appear weak, but i know I’m crumbling inside.
I don’t take into consideration the feelings of others as much as I should…
I think I judge people too much.
Its so hard for me to forgive, even when i try.
Maybe i’m just a bad person.

See, i’m broken. Broken enough to be humble.
But my only consolation is how God will always love me in my brokenness.
How he will always treat me as his child, how he will always welcome me back into his kingdom.
Only because I want to know him, I want to experience him more than anything. I want to be a better person.
I want to forgive, i want to love.
For the Glory of God.

2011-09-17T13:22:00.001+08:00

What a sweet girl right?!
I remember the ‘no-two-front-teeth” days :D

2011-09-17T12:48:00.001+08:00

Love isn’t about the romantic nights or gifts. It isn’t about fireworks going off around you when you have that first, real, kiss. Love isn’t about kissing in the rain and dancing beneath the stars. It isn’t about the big moments or the big surprises.
Love is not a fairytale.
Love is about still having the butterflies after years. It’s about the second looks and laying in bed wide awake, all night, because you can’t go to sleep mad at each other. It’s about being willing to sacrifice, literally, everything for someone, just because you care so deeply for them. It’s not about buying them gifts, but it’s about leaving them little presents here and there, just to remind them that you are constantly thinking about them.
Love is about all of the little things, that add up to really big things.
Love is rare and special, but should not be treated as if it will break.
Love needs to be thrown around and beat up a little bit, worn in, but not worn down.
Love needs to be a comfortable feeling, a place to go when NO ONE else in the world can relate. A safe place, where you know that no matter how ugly you look or how angry you are, you will still be…
loved.
-runawaytrain.tumblr.com

2011-09-17T11:46:00.001+08:00

2011-09-17T11:42:00.001+08:00

2011-09-17T11:41:00.001+08:00

2011-09-17T11:36:00.001+08:00

Cuz life’s too simple huh. Heh.

2011-09-10T22:46:00.001+08:00

2011-09-10T22:29:00.001+08:00

And the “Brightest side” would probably be the SUN, yes?
So what happens to when you stare at the sun too much?
We’d probably go blind huh? :x
So well in other words, I’d infer that…
Things, situations, obstacles, life, look better when you’re probably blind.

2011-09-10T12:30:00.001+08:00

2011-09-10T12:20:00.001+08:00

2011-09-10T12:01:00.001+08:00

2011-09-10T11:59:00.001+08:00

2011-09-10T11:53:00.001+08:00

Whoa.. i just realised how differently i think from everyone else. like. whoa.

2011-09-08T10:29:00.001+08:00

一日三秋

2011-09-04T23:20:00.001+08:00

2011-09-04T22:53:00.001+08:00

2011-09-04T22:51:00.001+08:00

2011-09-04T22:47:00.001+08:00

Holidays haven’t even officially started and i’m drowning. In who knows what.
Well Bekah’s typing to you from a very sick meeeee :/

Its been a really enjoyable few days, with a lot of time spent with family and those really dear to me :)
Hmm… But its hard to fully enjoy yourself when you’re constantly bothered by thing thattttt you know you just shouldn't be bothered about.
And idk if this is good or bad or whatever but everytime i’m at church now, i have nothing to bring up to the Lord, its as if my mind’s just blank. I’m only really ME when i’m with him and it… feels pretty good. Until i start rubbing my forehead and i go, “Ohyeah what was it i had to say to you God?”
Idk what there is to anything anymore, idk who i am or what i’m here for, idk why we bother so much sometimes.
But we just do.

Bottom line, Life’s a whole lot of question marks to me now. BUT WHATEVS. Lemme tell you what the holidays are gna be like for me…
1. HAVE TO FOLLOW STUDY PLAN.
2. Totally gna make it for mass every single day of the week. MORE GOD TIME, DEFINITELY.
3. Have to get better first though.
4. Gna lift weights everyday no matter what! I want my muscles! Hahah.
5. Have to catch up on work too :/
6. More family time (Y)
7. Make time for more shopping~~~ ;D

That’s pretty much it! :)

TILL THEN I GUESS. Gna finally get rest before i faint x.x

2011-09-02T23:00:00.001+08:00

“I find pieces of myself everywhere, and I cut myself handling them.”

—Jeanette Winterson, Lighthousekeeping

2011-09-02T22:58:00.001+08:00

2011-08-30T15:27:00.001+08:00

SET FIRE TO THE RAIN.

2011-08-29T00:11:00.001+08:00

I HAVE NEVER FELT LIKE DYING SO MUCH IN MY LIFE…

2011-08-29T00:08:00.001+08:00

“… your heart tells you that authentic values do exist… do not let yourselves be seduced by empty promises of a lifestyle which has no room for God… enter into a personal dialogue with Jesus Christ… Get to know him better by reading the Gospels and the Catechism of the Catholic Church. Thus you will acquire a mature and solid faith not based simply on religious sentiment…”

-Pope Benedict XVI; WYD.

2011-08-28T23:53:00.001+08:00

2011-08-28T23:50:00.001+08:00

Then again there’s this voice inside me saying..

" Bekah, you don’t need these people.
You know you’re not wrong, just turn the other cheek.
You answer to God. Not anyone else.
You have your family, you have everything you’d ever need.
Stop doing this to yourself…”

2011-08-28T23:37:00.001+08:00

There’s no one word that can actually piece together whatever I’ve been feeling for the past few days.
Bottom line: I’m not broken; i’m shattered.
I don’t know what’s going on anymore.
I tell myself to shut up, i make myself shut up and i end up hurting myself more.
I pray, of course i do. Then what’s step 2?

I know this shouldn’t be bothering me.
But you know its something about gaining the whole world and losing myself in the process… Is that really happening?
Or is it you…
Am i thinking too much.
Maybe i’m just a really bad person. Who judges, who’s a hypocrite, who never practices what i preach, who gossips and betrays and curses behind the scenes..
Seriously, what am i even doing here??

2011-08-27T12:03:00.001+08:00

2011-08-27T12:02:00.003+08:00

2011-08-27T12:02:00.001+08:00

2011-08-27T12:01:00.003+08:00

Sometimes you just feel like you’re just taking up space in the world. Yeah. Sometimes.

2011-08-27T12:01:00.001+08:00